Attending to Children's Emotions
Children’s feelings can sometimes be overwhelming. Here’s how I address emotions in treatment:
Happiness: I encourage children to notice happy moments, as they provide valuable information about what brings satisfaction. Embracing happiness is healthy.
Sadness: I ask families to recall moments of sadness. Sadness informs us about our losses and helps us process grief, leading to acceptance and understanding.
Anger: Anger signals when boundaries are crossed. It’s important to acknowledge anger, as it helps us make beneficial choices and assert ourselves. However, aggression is a behavior, not a feeling, and managing frustration without aggression is crucial.
By understanding and addressing these emotions, children can develop healthier emotional responses and resilience.
Happiness: I encourage children to notice happy moments, as they provide valuable information about what brings satisfaction. Embracing happiness is healthy.
Sadness: I ask families to recall moments of sadness. Sadness informs us about our losses and helps us process grief, leading to acceptance and understanding.
Anger: Anger signals when boundaries are crossed. It’s important to acknowledge anger, as it helps us make beneficial choices and assert ourselves. However, aggression is a behavior, not a feeling, and managing frustration without aggression is crucial.
By understanding and addressing these emotions, children can develop healthier emotional responses and resilience.
Anxiety manifests in various physiological sensations like butterflies in the belly, sweaty palms, and dizziness. It signals that there’s something ahead we want to do well or need to accomplish, and the anticipation of failure motivates us to work harder and achieve more. Without anxiety, growth might not occur.
Fear-related physiological processes keep us safe. For example, when a car speeds by, our heart races, and we jump out of the way. This adaptation helps us stay alive.
People can feel euphoric, angry, anxious, or fearful without any apparent reason or danger. The goal isn’t to feel less but to feel more fully. Exposure with Response Prevention research shows that relief comes when individuals gradually allow themselves to experience their emotions completely. Moving towards, rather than away from, these feelings lets emotions rise and fall naturally.
Emotions aren’t being discharged as in “catharsis” theories but are welcomed, integrated, and used as valuable information. Facing emotions with courage helps them surface more appropriately and reliably in the future. In my practice, patients often move towards experiences that elicit avoided emotions, sometimes for years.
For example, a patient struggling with social anxiety used artwork to deepen and process their feelings rather than avoid them. Many parents report positive results at home and school following Exposure with Response Prevention, as processing fear can lead to increased courage and adaptability.
While my consideration for emotions has been longstanding, I credit this organizational framework for emotions to David Barlow and his colleagues at the Boston University Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. Their Unified Protocol creates a wonderful organizing structure for those of us concerned with emotions and the emotional lives of children and families.
Fear-related physiological processes keep us safe. For example, when a car speeds by, our heart races, and we jump out of the way. This adaptation helps us stay alive.
People can feel euphoric, angry, anxious, or fearful without any apparent reason or danger. The goal isn’t to feel less but to feel more fully. Exposure with Response Prevention research shows that relief comes when individuals gradually allow themselves to experience their emotions completely. Moving towards, rather than away from, these feelings lets emotions rise and fall naturally.
Emotions aren’t being discharged as in “catharsis” theories but are welcomed, integrated, and used as valuable information. Facing emotions with courage helps them surface more appropriately and reliably in the future. In my practice, patients often move towards experiences that elicit avoided emotions, sometimes for years.
For example, a patient struggling with social anxiety used artwork to deepen and process their feelings rather than avoid them. Many parents report positive results at home and school following Exposure with Response Prevention, as processing fear can lead to increased courage and adaptability.
While my consideration for emotions has been longstanding, I credit this organizational framework for emotions to David Barlow and his colleagues at the Boston University Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. Their Unified Protocol creates a wonderful organizing structure for those of us concerned with emotions and the emotional lives of children and families.